THE MAKING OF MY DREAM

THIS ESSAY IS ON MY PERSONAL DREAM AS AN EXAMPLE FOR OTHERS.

THE MAKING OF MY DREAM.

It might seem cliché, but most of us are living the dream without knowing it. Not always, but their have been moments and snibits that our life and dream, in fact perfectly alligned. This is becouse our dream, is a feeling, and not an image or destination. And every time we sense that feeling, we are living the dream. 

As a variation on THE MAKING OF YOUR DREAM, the title of this essay refers to my personal journey so far 'realizing' my ' dream'. Realizing in the sense of first becomming aware, and than taking the actions to make it 'real in real time experience'.

The title; the making of your dream, occationally raises eyebrows. 'Your going to make my dream?' What does that mean? How are you planning on doing that exactly mr. Troubadour with your TROUBADOUR CAR? Its a ligit question to wonder about, and mabey THE MAKING OF A DREAM, or THE MAKING OF OUR DREAM would be better. This is still up to debate and mabey you have a personal sugestion afther you understand better what THE MAKING OF YOUR DREAM is actually aimed at fasilitating. Its a Transmediair project, meaning its a singular bigger story narrative presented in a multitude of media. In this case; how to realize your dream. Meaning we first figure out what our dream is, and than finding the tools (and dream team) to bring them to reality. 

The word DREAM also needs some clarification. Whenever I refer to my or your or anyones DREAM its sugesting their vision, mission, and north on their compas ofl life. The direction they want to go towards, knowing that it will fulfill them with a sense of value and purpose like no other thing can do. once such a sense of direction is found, we can start to assess everything we do around it and critically refelect; does this habbit, friend, acrtivity, lifestyle, and choice I make help me realize my dream, or is it keeping me from realizing it? key here is to know that your dream is a feeling and not an image to follow and persuit. From personal experience and conversations with a wide variety of amazing people well on their way of realizing their dream, this is aproach to the idea of one's dream is where most of us are misled due to our hyper visually orientet modern day society. Setting you up for failur and a lacking sense of value before one would have fullfilled that 'image' .  

In the attachments you will find more content on how a DREAM can be wreckognized in real life, how to find it, and how to keep it close to our heart. for now this is enough for the introduction.

In THE MAKING OF MY DREAM I speak about some reflections on my own journey so far realizing my dream. Its meant to make abstract ideas intruduced in the introduction more tangable. 

How can one be engaged and present in such a way in society that we remind one an other of our most important gifts and innnate giniouse?

As overwelming as it might be to our limited consioiuse mind, everyting we experience see and interact with has a meaning to it. signs, symbols, luck, coincidence, numbers, it would have all been different if it was someone else in your shoes at that time and place. everything reflects a part of who you are. 

In 2023 I volunteered at the creative crew and art departement of the psychodelic trans festifal YAGA. here, everyone got a different task, making decoration, keeping the fire going, cleaning the trashcans, hosting the guists, pooring drinks, but I got assigned to be one of 3 actors playing the charakter of a real time real life intaractive game during the festifal. I was assigned to be 'the memoair keeper' a charakter collecting, and trading stories of fun, good or terrible experiences of the festifal people on shiny pieces of silver paper atached to his cape. This period of my live, entering my 20s was a time I became more conciouse of patterns consering my charakter and the expression of who i am in relation to my emviorment. I became aware of the fact that the archetype of the 'storyteller' has had a very strong presents throught all my life. expressing itself in different ways depended on the period, circumstance and context I was situated in my life. In hignsight, the Memoair keeper had a much deeper conection to my charakter than just the superficial qualitie i developed such as; acting, openness and friendlyness, social confidence and articualte speech.

for years Ihave had the habbit already collecing all kinds of memories in the dozens of journals i keep as well as the analogue photography, video eddits of holidays and live illustrations of special places, people and moments. all creating a deeper sense of unseen and unknown foundatoin complimentary to the at the time, random charakter i got to play.    

but obviousely the archetype of the storyteller is not the only one relavant to me. everyone has all archetipes within themselfs. the child archetype, the mother archetype the father archetype, the warier, the fool, the queen the knight. the artist, the wiseman or wise woman, but some are more strongly present in us than others allowing us to express our true authentic self better through the charkater.  

The archetype of the Storyteller has been a guide helping me to realize my dream from a very young age. Its exactly this charakter that helped me to follow the feeling of LIQUID GOLD* and stay close to my DREAM.

As a child the storyteller was creating fictional stories to play with friends in playgrounds and in the dunes or with lego's at home. This was my inner fire heating up my liquid gold helping to share and express my inner most authentic self and love. 

Than in highschool, I graduatly lost my intrest and even ability to embark on imaginary journeys, so the archetype of the storyteller had to struggle and find a differentw way to express itself. I remember it being a difficult time, just like most teenage experiences, trying to find and develop 'idenity' . Mabey one of the reasons we struggle so much during this period of our life, is exactly for the reason that the inner most natural architype within us has to find a different way to express itself in a adolocent body and life. 

luckly for me, I was blessed with a creative education at the Waldorf school GGCA and the storyteller found ways to express itself through presentastion assigments, and arts and crafts.

yet the storyteller within me had a greater urge to express and tried to master the medium of movie animation at the age of 13 to 17 witch failed repettavly untill my graduation year when the sports archetype his ambition was neutralized due to a ripped meniscus as a result of a hockey ingury. 

afther highschool endless doors open and we have to make a choice to embark on a self development journey. what do i want to study? what do i want to ' become'.

a very chalenging choice to make, and ofthen over rationalized prioritizing images and projections of the future over our 'feeling' as a intuitive guide. 

what did i want to become? I took a gap year to figure that out. A writer? an actor? a movie maker? an illustrator? I chose movie animation, the medium connects to a wide variety of skills. from writing, acting, sound design, music, illustrating, filming, and movement. offering a wide variety of 'career choices' afterwards. witch in fact, has proven to be true now that i am graduating my BA movie animation as a multidicupinary TROUBADOUR* artist. 

I learned that a study can greatly influence our perseption of who we are. our idenity, charakter and even persona. our ego* is shaped and inspierd to become a actgor, or a writer, or an ingeneur, or nutritionist, but this embodied charakter is only just an tool we develop and master helping us to express the internal deeper archetype. 

Once we have masterd the charakter and have become one with it, its the chalange to invite space for 'originality'. something that comes from the origin of who you are, rather than an projection from outside we echo and refelct. 

after a musical education, your body and ego* has merged with the persona of the musician. now ou can express through music and its your responsability towards your true authentic self and soul, to let go of what you have learned to become and give space to things to explore within yourself. this is why the most revolutionary and inspiring masters of any skill or craft are self thought. their not conditioned by any external imput to act, react or express acording to a particualr standard. 

The exploration and expression of our inner most authentic self is inevidably the only thing that will truly provide a deep sense of fullfilment and satisfaction in our life, and its a great waste to be shy and leave this chalange of sharing our energy of love from the soul behind.

their many different architypes. mabey even as many as their humans on the planet cultivating original life experiences.

an other example of an archetype is the care taker. one that has a strong presents of this archetipical energy within them will be the type of child who loves making imagniary soups for their dolls and making little home's out of twigs for bugs and snail (or feed a digital tamagochi pet animal if their born afther 2000 haha) 

they might end up studieng medicine and get a job in the pharmaseutical industry. thier archetype is satisfied, for their able to 'help' the sick. but at one point, a itching feeling seeded deep within will start to torment them. Their soul is unsatisfied for its experiencing a lack of authentic LIQUID GOLD and original self value. the drug industry is corrupt and keeping the patients sicker than ever, creating a dependency on the subscriptions. the caretaker starts to wake up to the fact that their not healing nor helping anyone, loosing trust on the systhem, and the charakter they have embodied for such a long time. The question who am I sparks an idenity crisis. questioning all the life choices they have made leading to the place they ended up.

their innnate geniouse, expressed through the archetype if the care taker already from a very young age is now left without a sense of direction. luckly theirs always the magic of luck and coincidence sparking a fire guiding the path to an alternative career in care and medicine. at least, if one willing to wreckognize it. 

its very important to have a great sense of self from a joung age that helps us create values and develop a metaphorical north star to follow. have a dream in the sense of a feeling we can follow. never allowing changes in the material world of career success or failure to interfear with our sense of value and personal success. to be aware of our subconsiouse and feel our body and intiutinon telling us what our mind is too blind and even distracted to see. 

To have an consistant artisitc practise intergrating the whole right side of our brain in to our daily life. 

look at the fruits of our creative practise enabeling us to reflect on how we are doing. what changed in the way we feel and express compaired to half a year a go. froming conections with our primal human cognitive geniouse to wreckognize patterns and cvonections helpung us to tsay true to our soul, resulting gin a more confident and happy, healty state of being. 

I learned that a good way to tell if you are in a good relationshipo with your soul throughout our whole body and being, is whenever you have a feeling and awareness that you have something to share with the world. something from within to gift. this sensation creates an uncomparable sense of value of self. sadly, lacking in most of the people in western society. this thing one has to share and gift to the world can be just our presents, it can be our art, music, wisdome, knowldege, jokes, flowers or food. it does not matter what it is. its different with everyone and even varies from time to time personally. the only thing that matters is for you to have a personal realtionship with it that makes you warm and our inner fire burn. becvouse that love and exitement, whyle you practise our songs, visualize your joke, take a picture of your cat to share, or go to pcik or purchase some flowers for someone, s what allows yiour inner gold to melt. untill its totaly fluid and you can poor it in to any gesture, action, comment, and situation. that is the true authentic self within us that is essentially unconditional love, poored in tot the shape of a conditinal action, artefact or gesture. 

the saying 'giving is better than recieving' does not come out of the blue. all our soul realy seeks for is to recieve our OWN love refelcted back in the world around us. The moment we notice how it has become more beautyful becouse of what we did and who we are we are in a state of fullfilment uncomparable with anything else. creating a true understanding and sense of self-value. 

whenever one feels needy, depressed or lonley, the best thing to gift to them is not love. witch would seem like the obviouse awnser. paradoxaly, the best thing to gift them is the oprotunity to GIFT love. Gibing love is eventually the only thing that will be aable to remind anyone of theri actual sense of value. how many times have we tried to talk a loved one ot of their unhappyness and sense of self value without any result?

trying to remind them, to see how beautyfulll en preciouse they are. how many gifts they have and how much you and others love them. 

but they reject it. it does not fill let alone fullfill in any sustainable manner. its not your love nor your liquid gold that can fill the other, its their own. the only person that can proof it to them is themselves. for its not someoneles love they lack but the presents of the l ove of theri own soul expressed in the world. and a shyness or insecurity to express themselfs freely, ofthen due to negative projections by others in the past, keeps them from sharing it! the impact of the words of a stanger can be of much greater importance than that of a loved one sometimes. 

a compliment from a stranger has this raw authentic nature to them, that opens up the heart like no other. witch is great, becouse the city is filled with people who are strange to us. meaning we have the oprotunity to empower hundreds of people on a daily basis to keep on going and share their passion in any way they like to. your compliment to a child who's practising his oli on a skateboard just might inspire his understanding of value and skills enough to persuit his passion and DREAM for sports and movement.

or your shared observation on how well someone manged an escalating argument in a supermarket could just be the drip flooding the bucket to realize their inate geniouse of mediating social events. helping them to practise and aply it in the right way and place where its needed in an daycare for mentaly disabled people for example. 

as a street musician i see how people proof to themselves and remind themselves of who they are whenever they give me a coin. i see it becouse i feel it. i feel how their inner liquid gold from the hourt touches me through ther jesture of the money, smile or little dance. it makes me happy and warm and greatfull, all experiences matching the charakter of LIQUID GOLD. all i do is be present on the streets with strangers, and kindle my fire by making music. that sparks a fire in othners allowing the gold to become liquid and shared in this beautyfull small moment of connection. 

Creating and sharing LIQUID GOLD can only be experienced togheter. in the cities their endless strangers walking around with whom we can share our fire and be inspired by theirs. to every stranger, you might be a sign of luck and coincidce; the language of the universe. the impact of our actions and words can be of much greater impact on people than we can ever imagnie. I invite you to take that responsability and become part of this magical and mystical universe and its beautyfull language of love. 

thank you for the inspiration

all the love

all the essence

Ian Merkoulov 18-4-2025